My Hero Romance: Chapter Thirty
{| Chapter Thirty The hotel suite was much too quiet for his tastes, but he had a painful idea as to why this place was so quiet. The deeper he went, the more quiet it became until he reached the bedroom. He heard quiet sniffles from behind the door. He knocked. “Kakko, babe, are you alright?” His voice wavered, almost fearful for what could be happening behind closed doors. He knocked again when no answer came. “Hey, I’m coming in, alright?” When he walked in, Katsuko was swaddled in blankets, her teary, red face poking out from the end. She didn’t look at him when he walked in and instead shifted away from the door. She had been there since her mother had died three days prior. Ever since they had attacked the villains at N.H. Academy and Emilie had been killed, she hadn’t made an effort to take care of herself. It was painful for him to watch her suffer like this, but he wasn’t sure what he should do. With his mind clueless about what he should do, he set the food he had brought to her on the bedside table. He sat on the edge of the bed, looking down at her vacant expression. He flinched when she thrashed about, throwing the food he had brought. “Kak...Kakko please.” He whispered, reaching out to comfort her, but she slapped his hand away when she rolled over. He withdrew his hand, sighing softly at her attempt to get him to go away. It hurt him every time she did it, but there wasn’t much he could do. She saw what she saw and in the end, it was his fault Emilie died. He looked at her one last time before he stood up and left to retrieve cleaning materials. He expected this kind of reaction, but he didn’t really expect her of all people to hate him. He couldn’t quite deal with that thought, so he left to pay a visit to Akihisa, who was much more understanding. “You must give her time, Toshinori. She’s hurting.” He laid back on his bed, sighing gently. “Like I am, but I was taught to withstand such things. As Number One hero, you should be used to such a thing.” “I should be used to negative responses to things, but I didn’t expect that kind of hatred from her.” He looked down before turning his gaze to the TV. “Can you take care of her, then? I think she’d rather see you than the man who couldn’t save her Mother.” Akihisa looked at him. “You’re being too hard on yourself. If you give up, she might give up. She needs you as much as you need her, and don’t deny it.” “Seeing her mother die in front of me is bad as it is, but her hating me isn’t what I need right now.” He shook his head, hands stuffed in his pockets. “I’ll see you on the plane ride home, alright? I’m going to go check on Hieronymus and maybe go for a walk or something.” “We aren’t leaving until next Friday. Do you intend on taking a walk that long, or are you just running from your problems so you won’t get food thrown at you again?” He snorted. “All depends on how you look at it,” He shrugged. “I love your daughter, I really do. But I don’t think I can take care of her when she can’t even look at me. Do you know what that feels like?” “I couldn’t possibly imagine what that must feel like, Toshinori. I just simply couldn’t.” “A simple ‘yes, I do know what it’s like’ would have sufficed.” Toshinori bid farewell and left the hotel, walking down to a park that was farther than he would have liked, but he didn’t really care for that. He stayed at the park for a good portion of the night, just thinking about how he couldn’t save someone who was right there. Guilt ate at him despite him constantly telling himself that he can’t always save everyone. He couldn’t go back and face Katsuko, not when he lacked a reasonable answer when she would ask him why he could not save her. He should be able to save her, but he didn’t. He was out and walking for a long time, not returning until the early morning. When he had entered, Katsuko was there sitting on the couch, her eyes resting on him. She sniffled and reached out to him. “I should get going. Uh, I said I was gonna visit Hieronymus.” He reached out to grab his wallet, his voice shaking slightly. She squinted. “But you were gone for five hours…” Her voice was hoarse and raspy, like she had been crying for so long. She might’ve been, he wasn’t sure. He was too exhausted to tell. “Dad told me about, uh..everything. I’m so...sorry.” He shook his head. “Don’t be sorry. I was the one who let you down.” He decided against visiting Hieronymus and hesitated before walking towards the back of the suite to head to the shower. “I’m gonna take a shower.” Katsuko watched him go and sighed when she heard the water flow in the bathroom. She got upset at him, threw things at him, yelled at him. She didn’t give him a chance, she didn’t understand what he was trying to tell her. She just got upset. She wanted him to feel important, that had always been her goal. She wanted him to feel valued in this form, but after this? She couldn’t stand to see how pained his expression when he had looked at her. She caused that. A little while later when Toshinori was out of the shower, he had jumped right into bed without another thought. He was a bit lonely, having grown used to being close to Katsuko, but he didn’t think she’d want to be close to him knowing that he let Emilie slip through his fingers. He didn’t think she could love him after that. Katsuko, however, wanted to reconcile. She understood that she had hurt him, made him feel worse than he should, but she couldn’t help it. She felt so empty, so alone. But she had also pushed away and hurt the one person who wouldn’t leave her. She entered the room with a sigh, looking at his form beneath the covers. She inhaled deeply before approaching the side of the bed, guilt flying around in her mind. She lifted the covers and slid in besides him. Katsuko didn’t wait and pressed her palms on either side of his face and pulled him in for a kiss, ending it with a string of apologies. “I should be more understanding. I...I shouldn’t have yelled at you.” She shook her head, whimpering out more apologies. Toshinori felt her shaky breath against his neck and pulled her close against him. “Don’t. Don’t apologize. You, uh, you were right to hate me. I could’ve saved her, but I didn’t.” “I should know better than anyone that I should know that we as heroes can’t save everyone.” She buried her face in his neck, struggling to fight back tears at the thought of her mother. “I was too mean. I needed you and instead I pushed you away. I’m sorry.” “No, stop it. Stop apologizing!” He tightened his arms, careful of crushing her. “I am the number one hero and I couldn’t even save your Mother! What...What’s the point of putting so much faith in me when I can’t do that? I don’t understand why after all that, you’re still here with me.” She chuckled lightly. “I should be asking the same thing.” She wiped her eyes, biting her lip to conceal a smile. “Maybe this is why we’re meant for one another, huh? We both suck, but being with each other makes us suck less.” “That’s certainly one way of putting it.” He murmured, inhaling deeply. “But either way, I’ll never understand why you love me.” Katsuko understood that both of them were having their rough moments and that there was little either one could do for each other. She just wanted to hold him and show him how much she loved him, but she was raised as a Christian who never does before marriage. Nothing else seems to be getting through to him and if it does, something happens and he’s back to being unsure of himself. He’s back to being doubtful and it’s worrying her to see him so upset, so distrustful in the words she says. She could worry about Christian values later.